Weird Car Accessories You May Not Know Existed
Sometimes, when a man buys an exquisite, low-rumbling sports coupe, he looks at it and thinks, “This needs fake eyelashes!” Here are just seven of the most bizarre car mods currently on the market.
1: Car Teeth
Perfect for drivers with the deep-seated need to scare the crap out of passing children, car teeth are an inexplicable accessory that only seems to gain popularity as the years pass. They even make vampire teeth for the <I>Twilight</i> crowd and buck teeth for the, uh, ironic redneck.
2: Gentleman Function
You can now buy certain models of BMWs equipped with a “gentleman function,” which is a fancy term for controls on the driver’s side that adjust the passenger’s side seat. The next time your girlfriend insists on Taco Bell, you can send her on a roller coaster ride until she agrees to McDonald’s.
3: Empty Wheel Covers
If you’re hoping to fool a really stupid thief, these cardboard cutouts of empty wheels may do the trick. Of course, anyone with an IQ greater than 10 won’t fall for it. In fact, you might just draw more attention to your car as a potential target. But at least it’ll look cool?
4: Sound Generator
Want the roar of a monster truck without the turbocharged price tag? Sound generators offer a wide variety of engine noises that can be added to your car, presumably for all the people who enjoyed <i>The Fast and the Furious</i> before realizing that serious mods cost thousands of dollars.
5: Fatigue Wristbands
Driver alert wristbands measure your tiredness behind the wheel by gauging and then analyzing your reaction times to things on the road. Because it’s easy to pull over on the I-90 when you realize that you need a nap, right? Let’s have “well-intentioned but entirely useless inventions” for $200, Alex.
6: Car Lashes
When car teeth have a baby with narcissistic drivers, the results are car lashes. If you’ve always wanted your vehicle to look like something out of a nightmare version of a Disney film, this is the accessory for you.
7: Wings
You aren’t a plane. Stop it. Just stop it.
These are but a few of the weirdest and most useless car accessories known to man. There are plenty more, of course, because there’s no limit to bad ideas. But these should be enough to send a few of you running to your garage to remove the teeth before anyone else sees them.
